How to Find a Therapist in 3 Steps

Now more than ever people are seeking therapy for emotional support and personal insight. Finding the right mental health clinician might feel daunting at first, but it’s not impossible, and depending on where you live, there are many options. Follow these three essential steps and learn how to find a therapist that’s right for you.

Step 1: Understand Your Needs

Before you even begin your search on how to find a therapist, you need to understand your clinical needs. 

What’s Bothering You and for How Long?

Start by writing down what’s bothering you. 

• What have your mood, behaviors, thought patterns, eating, sleep, and energy been like lately? 

• When did these changes start? 

• Did something happen to make your situation worse? 

• Does anything help you to cope with these changes?

You can also ask a trusted friend or family member, someone who has your best interests in mind, if they’ve noticed changes in your mental health lately, but only do this if you'll be respected for admitting this. It can feel both challenging and validating when sharing about your mental health struggles, so follow your intuition on this point.

What Do You Hope to Get out of Therapy?

Knowing what issue you want to address is important because it will help you think of a therapy goal. A goal doesn't have to be complicated. Here's an example: I want to feel less sad so I can enjoy the time with my family. In this case, choosing an individual therapist would help you meet this need.

Your main therapy goal will also help you understand what type of therapy is best for you. If you need help working with anxiety or depression, consider an individual therapist. If you’re struggling with a romantic relationship or marriage, then a couples counselor or family therapist could be the right choice. If you're wrestling with social anxiety, then consider group therapy. If you're not sure what the best type of therapy is for your situation, ask the first clinician you connect with to make a treatment recommendation after sharing from your list of what's been bothering you.

What Gender Feels Right to You?

Some people have a preference about gender when it comes to a clinician. Take a moment to consider your lived experiences. If you had a combative relationship with your mother, maybe consider a male clinician. Maybe you don’t have a preference and you’re open to see what happens. Trust your instincts about gender preference.

Do You Have Identities You Need the Clinician to Understand and Respect?

In the current political climate, feeling safe in who you are is important for your identity. You might have to act differently in public or social spaces to feel safe, but you shouldn't have to do that in therapy. If you identify as queer, gender fluid, or nonbinary, a clinician with a similar identity may enhance trust because of relatable experiences. Sometimes finding a clinician with a similar racial or ethnic identity can help you feel understood because of shared lived experiences in American society. If it makes you more comfortable, find a therapist who is open to or has experience working with your identities to enhance your healing.

Do You Prefer In-Person or Virtual Sessions?

Do you like to sit in a room with your clinician, or are online sessions more convenient for your schedule? My work with people is exclusively online using a HIPPA-compliant virtual platform. I’ve never met most of my clients in person, but they say they find online IFS sessions both helpful and powerful. Some people feel strongly about in-person or virtual sessions, so take a moment to consider your needs.

Step 2: Do the Research

The most common routes for finding a therapist are professional referrals, friend’s recommendations, and internet searches.

Ask Your Doctor

Mental health symptoms can disrupt your life, so some people often start with their primary care physician to receive a therapy referral. If you have insurance, you can use the insurance providers’ website to search for a behavioral health clinician in your area. 

Ask Someone You Trust

You can also talk to a trusted friend or family member, especially if they’ve engaged in therapy. Ask what they like about their therapist and how sessions helped them. If you feel comfortable, consider asking them to check if their therapist has openings to help you get connected quicker.

Search Psychology Today

For internet searches, I’d recommend starting with the Psychology Today Therapist Finder Tool. (They also have many helpful posts on mental health topics.) You can narrow your search by zip code and preferences, like what you need help with, therapist gender, race, sexual orientation, session type, insurance / payment preference, and much more. You can then read a brief bio and details about each person’s practice to get a feel for them and understand if their services match your needs. Here’s my Psychology Today profile to give you an idea of what one looks like.

Depending on your location, you may have many clinicians to consider. One way to narrow it down is to do additional research on the different types of therapy they offer. I mainly use Internal Family Systems (IFS) with clients, which is a compassionate way to understand what you’re experiencing and resolve symptoms so you feel like yourself again. Check out this blog on How IFS Can Help You to learn more.

Understanding the Types of Clinicians

Learning about the different types of mental health providers can be confusing, so here’s a basic breakdown. Please note, this general list applies to Illinois and may differ in other states.

• Psychiatrists (M.D. or D.O.) specialize in diagnosing and prescribing medication to enhance emotional stability. They go through medical training first, then specialize in psychiatry. Typically, they do not provide traditional talk therapy. Your Primary Care Physician can also prescribe psychiatric medications.

• Psychologists (Ph.D. or Psy.D.), Licensed Clinical Professional Counselors (L.C.P.C.), and Licensed Clinical Social Workers (L.C.S.W.) are all qualified to provide traditional therapy services.

If your doctor or psychiatrist prescribes you psychiatric medication, the standard  recommendation is to engage in therapy to help resolve your symptoms. Medication stabilizes functioning, but emotional processing in therapy helps you work through what’s causing emotional distress. 

The different therapist titles have to do with differences in training. The bottom line is each of these licensed professionals completed intensive training to help you create positive change. 

Step 3: Knowing When You Find the Right Therapist

You Experience Trust & Understanding

The most important factors in finding the right therapist are trust and feeling understood. Clinical research shows that many therapies are effective, but the therapeutic relationship is the key. If you don’t trust your therapist, it won’t work. You also have to feel like they get you. This might take some time to notice, but people often know pretty quickly if their therapist understands them or not.

If It Doesn't Feel Right, Move On

In a way, therapy is like dating: you’re not sure who you’ll end up with, and it takes time to get to know each other. When I start with a new client, I suggest that we complete about six sessions together then check in to see how it’s going. If either of us feels like it’s not the right fit, then we view it as a no-harm-no-foul situation. I then use my referral network to find the right clinician for them, so they don’t feel hung out to dry. 

I know how confusing this process can seem at first because I engage in therapy myself. I’ve had a variety of therapists over the years, some great, some alright, and a few that weren't the right fit. I knew it right away, but I wasn’t sure if it was ok to stop. Let me state this very clearly: it is absolutely ok to say this isn’t working and move on if things don’t click. Don’t let this discourage you because sometimes it just happens–no harm, no foul.

The Secret to Successful Therapy

And that brings me to my final point. This is your therapy, and you need to be an active participant. The more effort you put in, the more you get out of it. Tell them what you want, and if you don't feel like things are going in the right direction, say so. You’re paying for the services, and you deserve a safe, healing space that matches your needs.

Use These 3 Steps to Start Your Healing Journey

I know how vulnerable it can feel when reaching out to a therapist, especially if you’re not feeling the best, but believe me, there are many of us clinicians out here ready to help. Go ahead and try these three steps to find your therapist now. I’m pretty sure you’ll thank yourself later that you did.

Ready to Start Now? Schedule a Consultation

If you’re ready to try individual therapy right now, consider filling out my Aspire Psychotherapy contact form, so you can have a consultation with Todd McCarty about therapy services. (That’s me by the way.) This will give you a chance to share from your list in Step 1 to help you feel more confident about how to find a therapist.

This article is meant as an informational resource and should not be taken as medical advice nor as a mental health diagnostic tool. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please dial 911 or report to your local emergency room.

Photograph by Poike from iStock.