How IFS Can Help You

Internal Family Systems Therapy, or IFS, is an experiential, user-friendly therapy that can help you understand why you experience distressing thoughts, emotions, or sensations. It can also help you work through and decrease the intensity and frequency of these occurrences, while developing a more fulfilling life.

What Is IFS?

Developed by Richard Schwartz, Ph.D., the IFS Institute website describes Internal Family Systems as:

a transformative tool that conceives of every human being as a system of protective and wounded inner parts led by a core Self. … IFS is frequently used as an evidence-based psychotherapy, helping people heal by accessing and healing their protective and wounded inner parts. IFS creates inner and outer connectedness by helping people first access their Self and, from that core, come to understand and heal their parts. (IFS Institute, n.d.)

We'll discuss some of these concepts more later, but it’s important to know that IFS is considered a constraint-release model. It can help you identify and resolve internal barriers to bring more vitality and purpose back into your life.

Working with Parts Reduces Tension

IFS helps you become aware of your “parts,” also known as subpersonalities, that are emotionally overburdened or in conflict with one another. The “unblending” process can help you experience some separation from thoughts, emotions, and sensations that allow for compassionate ways of healing to occur. This is not a form of numbing or compartmentalization. Instead, it allows you to understand the positive intention of a given part. This insight can help relieve inner tension and lead toward deeper healing. Here’s a case example* that demonstrates how IFS helps with anxiety.

Janette starts therapy to find relief from constant anxiety and worry about her elderly dog’s health, which also disrupts her sleep. With her therapist collaboratively guiding IFS sessions, Janette learns that a worried part wants to be prepared for any possible scenario in case her dog needs an emergency run to the vet. 

As Janette naturally gains access to Self, she learns about this worried part’s positive intention to help, and she becomes more capable of sharing compassion with this part, which creates a feeling of calm understanding. Eventually she learns that this part protects another more vulnerable part that carries fear about her dog dying. Since Janette spent time understanding the worried part, she gains insight about reactive patterns and feels more emotionally grounded over time. 

When she next meets with her therapist, Janette reports that between sessions she feels less obsessed about her dog’s health, which creates more restful sleep. She’s also more capable of recognizing when the worried part is activated without getting swept up in the anxious intensity.

This illustration demonstrates that IFS provides both insight and relief that accumulate over sessions. The IFS process  is nonlinear and takes time, which is why you often hear therapists say, “Trust the process.” The reality is we all have rich, complicated lives, and whether you’re 18 or 80, chances are you’ve lived through some stuff which may impact your healing progression. What I know from using IFS with clients is that this therapy makes a noticeable difference that builds over time.

Having Parts Is a Healthy Natural State

New clients are sometimes concerned there’s something wrong with them when I explain the concept of parts, especially since they already feel vulnerable entering therapy. Many psychological and medical models, as well as Western philosophy, view the mind as a single, cohesive unit that generates a uniform personality. The reality is everybody has parts, and IFS posits that multiplicity of mind is a healthy, natural state that every person experiences. It is not a sign of pathology or that something is wrong with you.

The reality is you experience your parts all the time, but most people haven’t discovered a framework to recognize this. It’s easier to notice parts when two parts experience tension. Here’s an example that my IFS colleague Melissa at GuestHouse Growth shared with me. 

Let’s say it’s Friday, and you just finished a long work week. When you get home, you flop down on the couch, order food for delivery, and are ready to dig into your favorite show. Suddenly, you remember there’s a game night at your friend's place tonight that you agreed to attend two weeks ago. One part of you just wants to relax at home, while the other part would like to connect with your friends. Eventually you notice this back and forth argument with conflicting emotions happening in your mind. Those are two parts that both want to take care of you in different ways.

IFS helps you to create separation between parts so that healing can begin. Often we’re not aware of our parts because either a dominant part helps you run your everyday life, or parts can fluidly slip in and out depending on what’s happening in a given moment. Working with your IFS therapist as a collaborative guide, you’ll learn over time why an inner conflict is occurring and discover how to resolve it.

Self-Leadership Facilitates Healing

As stated above, the main goal of IFS is to develop Self-Leadership. In IFS, Self (with a capital S) is the undamaged core of each person that understands how to communicate with and heal parts. In IFS, you’ll utilize Self to identify parts, understand them to build trust, and heal the emotional burdens parts carry. This allows parts to transform into a balanced state, which creates greater capacity for Self. As Self develops naturally over time, you’ll start to establish more emotional balance, but progress is different for each person. As you heal and change your inner system, positive change occurs in your external life.

How IFS Can Help You

Since Internal Family Systems is experiential, one of the best ways to understand it is by giving it a try. Whether you’re ready to start IFS now or if you have some questions before scheduling a virtual session, therapist Todd McCarty is available to help. Take a moment to fill out the Aspire Psychotherapy contact form to set up a 15-minute consultation. Let’s discuss how IFS can help you heal.

*The above case example is based on my clinical knowledge, but not on an actual past or present client.

This article is meant to be an informational resource and should not be taken as medical advice nor a mental health diagnostic tool. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please dial 911 or report to your local emergency room.